KAT GOT YOUR TONGUE : SIZE MATTERS ? MAYBE IT DOESN’T.

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So we meet again, dear Kat readers !!

For those reading Kat for the first time, I’d like to inform everyone that all content here was derived from reputable sources. You are NOT reading pseudoscience !

Now that I’ve disclaimer-ed you to death, my topic and question is, “Does penis size matter when finding a mate?”

Although, this topic arouses a banquet of controversy, even my own curiosity was piqued here. How exactly does one tackle this age-old question, one so perverted and distorted by stereotypes? I’ll tell you how! Science!

People have been obsessed with penis size since Eve first discovered Adam eventually had an additional bone for her. Considering all variables surrounding my topic, I chose a source that remained most objective : research and experiments from the University of Ottawa and from the Australian National University appeared most suitable as to the methods used to obtain and reinforce the data I will be using here. (Ummm, thanks Canada for your unsung obsession with male genitalia. A double thanks to Australia for supporting the findings of our frigid northern friends!)

Both universities performed experiments using computer generated naked male images to gauge sexual attractiveness. To paint a better visual picture, those artificial images gave no relevance to facial features or hair. Giving ugly bald guys out there a fair chance. These life sized pictures varied in height, physique, and complete with flaccid penises. All women participating in the experiment were instructed to rate the images by sexual attraction.

Each image’s starting length was a 3-inch pinch, and as the images progressed, so did penis length. Interestingly enough, with the growth of penis size so did the image’s polarity ranking. As an image’s penis size continued to increase, its appeal slowly decreased when compared to proceeding images.

Yet another plus one for men lesser endowed! Please don’t get discouraged, gentlemen, this data could be a manifestation of evolutionary principles embedded in the female subconscious. Penis size once was a primeval indicator of a male’s ability to sire genetically desirable offspring. Which would explain why the human penis has evolved at an accelerating rate in comparison to other primates.

Turns out, though, that the experiments in research of penis size only had relevance when considered in tandem with body type : taller images with smaller penises scored higher than shorter images with larger penises, and shorter images with smaller penises ranked the least favorable. The image ranking highest in scores seemed to be the tallest image with the largest penis trumping over all other images. Both the tall and short images scoring the best all shared the same mesomorphic qualities. ( “Mesomorph” is just a fancy way of saying a body type with broad shoulders, wide chest, and narrow hips. ) According to the data gathered, penis size is nowhere near as important as a nice body. Which doesn’t surprise me considering men don’t wear their penis outside their pants while on the dating scene. First we gals must be seduced by what we see on the surface. Only after can we experience any sexual gratification or disappointment.

A penis will not find you a mate; but it will definitely help you keep her. Best way to find a mate, guys? A Macy’s credit card & gym membership! And even if you’re not well-endowed, fear not Vienna sausage packing dudes! Learn to speak in tongues to better communicate with the whispering eye.

Conveniently enough, a woman’s cervix is between three and five inches long. It only expands slightly upon arousal to accommodate a man’s penis. So what’s all the commotion in the ocean ? There are plenty of fish in the sea that’ll take your bait no matter what size. Uh, ladies not everyone fishing wants a large mouth bass hanging off their poles. Kegels…Google it, or just wait for my next blog.

— Kat Gottlich / Kat Got your Tongue

Author: hereandsphere

Here and Sphere is an online journal of news, opinion, reviews, advice, & bits n' pieces of everything else - from HERE to SPHERE...... Co-founded by Michael Freedberg, a long-time Boston Phoenix journalist, and Heather Cornell, a South Coast Massachusetts columnist and editor.

3 thoughts on “KAT GOT YOUR TONGUE : SIZE MATTERS ? MAYBE IT DOESN’T.”

  1. The point were missing is that some people’s bodies just fit together better. There are many different types of vaginas out there too… All with different internal/external dimensions.
    The male machismo is obviously affected by its and others sizes.. It’s how we’re built. For a woman…. Much different. It takes more work and real connection to get there regardless of the shaft size. Plus women forget they turn away more action than the a stage non trolling fella can ever imagine. So maybe the question shouldn’t be about peepee size….. The question should be who has been blessed with that great fit plus inter dimensional connection that leaves both people a heaving, sweating mass of limbs and twitching parts……;)

    1. Very true Aaron & at some point we will discuss physical compatibility but this was meant to scratch the superficial surface opposed to in depth meaningful relationships once established. But if you wouldn’t mind what you are talking about i would love to use as a future topic:)

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