Hello my beloved Kat readers !!

So let’s cut to the chase and discuss another fun topic, OK ? I don’t usually use ebonics in my blogs but today will be an exception. This particular topic is a considerably unnecessary evil occurring in every conversation. Unable to fathom a better befitting word, today’s topic is “Booty Chatter.” For those unfamiliar with this terminology, it IS how it sounds. “Booty” is a derriere and “Chatter” is conversation. Put simply it’s “talking out of your butt.” I’m not deliberately being vulgar, just trying to be direct!

I’m sure a majority of people have been volunteered, unknowingly, to be subjected to nonsense. To me, there’s nothing more annoying than a conversation heading towards intellect only to detour into crazy town. Don’t get me wrong, I’m impartial to unexpected factoids — as long as they represent actuality. Today there’s a multitude of individuals pursuing not factoids but some illusion of professional grandeur. Some may begin their day at an entry level position and over cocktails that evening become a jack of all trades. Much like a super hero, they morph into philosopher, scientist, or politician — or all three, rolled into one!

Some readers may be questioning “how can I separate fact from opinion if what’s being said is said with such conviction?”

Truthfully, you can never really tell unless you know a person intimately. Furthermore anyone with common sense should be capable of distinguishing actual data from Booty Chatter. Seeing how it’s nearly impossible to detect these social pariahs, it’s best to remain accountable for one’s own blunders. Often it’s a cinch to confuse personal beliefs or convictions with legit facts especially if we feel passionate about our opinions. I too have previously been guilty of dispersing my personal views as if they were truths. Unfortunately, such dispersion is classified as “notions with no research to support such beliefs.”

Best way to avoid being a Booty Chatter perpetrator ? Avoid subject matter you’re not familiar with. Religion, politics, and sexuality are all sure to push you over the edge of very significant boundaries.

Readers please do heed my warning! There’s nothing more embarrassing than being publicly interrogated on your source if it’s all misinformation! No one wants to be branded as “the one so full of crap, if you shut your mouth your butt would talk!” Many may not know it, but there’s a difference between fact and opinion. And everyone knows opinions are like buttholes. Everyone has one and most of them stink. Thus Booty Chatter was born!

—- Kat Gottlich / “Kat Got Your Tongue”

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